She knows she can be herself around me. She can go hunting. She can go massive shopping. She can go see her family without me hounding to see her as well. I let her do what she wants to do and find things that make her grow instead of just staying put on a couch or a bed.
Those big blue eyes come alive with many emotions. When I started to get to know her again they were filled with pain, clouded by uncertainty but rimmed with freedom. As time went by those eyes shined with excitement, glittered with admiration, and were wide with liberation. The polite smiles went to a constant grin that still is brighter than 100,000 watt light bulb.
Her brain was filled with uncertainty too, but that was quickly diminished by herself. She realized that you weren't worth her feeling like crap over. People (well really just one person) told her that it's shame the two of you couldn't have made things worked. And you know what she said? "It's perfectly, fine I like what God is doing in my life now."
To make her feel like a million bucks doesn't mean you have to spend money on her. Trust me she spends that on herself when she wants to or feels like it. You actually ask SELFLESS questions about Disney, make-up and teaching. Then you actually and have an intelligent conversation. Don't bring up being together. She knows it.
Want to know why she doesn't like to cuddle? She is sure of herself. Cuddling is like trying to cover up insecurities. Why have we snuggled? Because it's cold. It's not like having someone cover you up so you don't look bad anymore. What do we do since we don't cuddle? We sprawl out on the floor. Four empty couches are surrounding us and we are piled up on the floor.
Didn't you hear the resentment of her giving up her dreams? Sacrifices have to be made to really love a person. Do I want to be away from her for 5 months? No. But I will drive 10 hours each weekend and I have a child too. If she doesn't want me to come down there am I going to throw a fit? No. She cares about my well being too.
And the whole thing trying to get buddy-buddy with her family? Every single one of them have thanked me for not being clingy. You have your own family be clingy with them. Honestly? Her brother was so happy the two of you broke up because it meant he got to see his sister again.
Honestly, all of these mistakes were for my benefit like I said, so once again thank you. You paved the way just like our mutual friend said you would have done so.
I have loved talking to her listening to the passion of the things she loved. I have loved watching her fall in love with mothering acts with my daughter. Seeing her excitement when the Disney World in .... Miles sign showed up. Seeing her face when she got Olaf on her cup. Watching her dance for hours while still trying to keep her gaze on me. Laughing when I scooped her up and carried her across ever threshold she has including her London one.
Finding out every little detail. Loving the slight glances of her body I get now and again. But there is one thing that bothers me the most. RESPECT her! She said she didn't want to have sex at all until marriage. Don't start telling stories of girlfriends past and what they did of course that would have put doubt in her mind. So no as bad as I want to think about sex with her I don't. I enjoy more things about her. So you enjoy your car and buggy.
I'll be dancing in Norway while having a cup of tea with a blue eyed bombshell from Alabama.
God Bless
Vince.
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